To get a better context of what ego death is, its important to understand what an ego is. There are various ways to explain ego, lets understand it from a general and secular way, so we can all relate to it.
What is Ego?
Ego is a “narrative” or a “story” formulated around the sense of self and personal identity. These story about ourselves are constructed by us. For example, this is who I am and this is the story associated With me (Sense of self)
You may say this is my name, my profession, my status in society, relationships, age, race, religion etc.
We need a sense of self to survive, ego is a survival mechanism and default mode network and auto-pilot function.
Ego is designed to protect us from pain and uncertainty, unfortunately uncertainty is an important part of growth and transformation
Our ego is developed from an evolution standpoint literally to keep us safe and survive in the wild in the past. Our ancestors were hunter-gatherers and they had to have this sense of self to kill wild beasts and have food.
What is an ego death?
Ego death is the death of “perceived” Self. Your old Self has really died and its painful feeling. The brain loses all the grounds and basis on which it defined itself or in other words you defined yourself.
Ego death often occurs when we lose external attachments.
For example, Losing a job, going through heart-break, losing a relationship, losing a loved one, skill, reputation.
It is associated with losing a part of your identity and who you previously were. The ego loses external sources it relied upon for the sense of stability and safety. Routines, habits, hobbies. You no longer find joy in things that you previously enjoyed. You may feel as if everything is meaningless and feel depressed.
This is temporary, can be a transnational experience although with confusion and despair and no motivation to do anything. I remember last year in 2020 after going through my spiritual awakening in 2018, I went through so many cycles of losing a part of my identity and it was like having a mental breakdown.
I understand and empathize with anyone going through this, especially during quarantine and the situation with Lockdowns. There is a lot coming up to deal with and reconcile. I have completely alone and going through this transformation meditating studying more and just slowing down. Honestly, I spent time crying in my room and no one to hold me but myself.
All your core beliefs are deeply questioned and uncomfortable truths are brought to light. The truths like I will be happy when I get somewhere or achieve something, or any external situations will bring me happiness, or my loved ones or my family will never hurt me.
What does Ego death feel like ?
All the uncomfortable and repressed emotions will rise to the surface to be reconciled with and made peace with.
For example, anger, rage, depression, anxiety, fear, grief
You may feel as if you are lost and confused and not sure who you really are, or who the real you is. All you will be left with is the feeling of being and existing but without any label.
You will have a decrease in a will to live and have suicidal thoughts and feel like you are worthless and don’t matter. your ego would tell you Death would be more preferred as it has nothing to hold on to for certainty or direction of life
You will feel ungrounded, anxious to face life, spacy, or levitating, not in your body, Without any safety or Egoic structure, you will feel the increased need to disassociate from your own body.
Coping and managing Ego death
Become an observer/witness of your thoughts rather than personally identifying them. Keep in mind that its a temporary phase and should be treated as such.
I remember since my awakening in 2017-2018.
Every year I would go through a phase of letting go and mentally breaking down especially during wintertime, I will share the pictures in the video. Know and understand that its a phase, it will pass; although it does not mean you ignore your feelings and emotions that may come up.
Allow the mourning and grief process to run its course. This really feels like a death and should be treated as such. I remember last year, in 2020 when I was going through this in March. I would go to work during the lockdown and come home and just sit and cry and allow the emotions to pass and feelings to be felt.
If you feel angry, express your anger, go alone in fields and shout if you need to, release all the tension from the body.
Seek out support, psychotherapy, Reiki healer, or therapy to process what’s happening inside you, you can try Journaling, simply writing down how you feel and acknowledging your emotions.
Engage in activities to keep yourself grounded. Do gardening, play with your pet, meditate for longer periods of time. it is important to go within as all the outward means of certainty and identification of who you are has fallen away.
Now you are left here questioning who you are, what you are supposed to be doing and what is life all about. but this is exciting as you can choose to be whoever you want to be, do whatever your heart feels right.
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Thank you for watching this video, sending lots of love wherever you are on the earth plane.